“Life is not fair!”
“I can’t make it!”
“I feel terrible!”
“This sickness is killing me!”
“I can’t get a job because in this economy!”
“I will die lonely!”
“Nobody loves me…”
“I don’t have the power to quit this addiction…”
“I am too fat!”
“I am poor…”
“If my parents were alive, my life would have been better off.”
“Oh, I am not good enough…”
And the list can go on and on.
Most of us have either made or heard someone else make these or similar statements. We also can identify them purely as fearful statements.
Dr Susan Jeffers in her eye-opening book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, gave dynamic techniques on how to transform fear, indecision and anger into power, action, and love.In this book, she compels her readers to rethink the whole concept of fear. To experience life fully, Susan says, you have to learn to rule your fears.It takes courage to mould your life the way you want it to be. -HT @SusanJeffers Click To Tweet
To take control of your fears, you must first know its nature. Dr. Jeffers classifies fear into three levels. The first level is situation oriented, the second is ego based, and the third based on a lack of trust in ourselves. The moment you understand the class of fear you may be experiencing, it becomes easier to start from there to make necessary changes aimed at controlling our fears. Dr. Jeffers also explains why we should always take action in the face of fear. Fears hold us back. It stops us from achieving our goals; hence lies its most destructive power. However, she points out that some fears are instinctual and healthy, and keep us alert; hence preventing us from getting into dangerous situationsAny fear that holds you back from personal growth is destructive. -HT @SusanJeffers Click To Tweet
Five basic truths we must know fear
1. Our fears never go away. As long as we live and grow, they will always be there to threaten the next phase of our growth.
2. The only way of getting over the fear of doing something is to go right out and do it, irrespective of how you feel.
3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it.
4. We usually are not alone in our feelings of fear – it’s a universal feeling. Those who seem fearless today have developed themselves, pushing themselves to conquer; hence act in spite of their fears.
5. Pushing through fear is much less frightening than living with the undeniable tortuous feelings of helplessness that might be forced upon us by our underlying fears.
Using a Pain to Power Chart, Susan Jeffers asserts that the real issue is not fear itself but how we interpret and react to fear. We must know that our fears cannot be our victim if we don’t move from the position of pain to power (power within self). Moving from pain to power is achieved by taking action. She also warns that every time you get angry with yourself for a mistake you made, you put yourself in the position of pain. To be powerful is to take charge of all aspects of your life; this means that living in pain actually means losing control of certain aspects of your life. If we don’t handle or take care of our lives, assuming personal responsibility for ourselves, no amount of care or nurturing will be sufficient to help us.Some fears are instinctual and healthy and keep us alert to troubles. -HT @SusanJeffers Click To Tweet
I found myself agreeing with Dr Jeffers when she said one of the issues facing man is that we don’t sculpt our lives; we accept things as they come to us. Nothing is realistic or unrealistic. The truth is we create our own reality.
Emphasising the role of positive words, she affirms that positive words make us physically strong, negative words make us physically weak. To be a positive thinker, you have to be committed to thinking positively, with the full understanding that requires a lot of practice to see improvements in our control of our thought processes.
Lest you get a mistaken view of Susan Jeffer's position, this book doesn’t deny the fact that pain exists; in fact it teaches that no one is immune to pain; hence such denials don’t achieve anything good for the person in denial. Acknowledgement of pain is imperative, while denial might be deadly. However, we can all live productive lives in spite of our external circumstances.Acknowledgement of pain is very important; denial is deadly. -HT @SusanJeffers Click To Tweet
To say “no” to fear is to take a step; to take a step is to make a decision, the culmination of a decision is the action that backs it up. When you make a decision decide never to lose or let go no matter what happens, ensure you do your homework; this entails that you ask questions that provide you with valuable information. You should also establish your priorities; this entails clearly knowing what you want out of life.
After making the decision, ensure you take full responsibility for your actions. One thing you should avoid doing is to protect or keep whatever you do that is not in line with your decided destination. You must correct your mistakes to achieve your goals. When you can think, believe and act as such, the world indeed would be your oyster.
Thanks to the book, I made a decision to feel the fear, yet do it anyway.
What about you?