Building Confidence [Book Review]

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Thomas Edison once said if we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. It is no longer news that a lot of people have lost their confidence or self-esteem due to a major factor which is fear. It simply tells you that you are too little to accomplish a task. Simply put Fear just points out all your inadequacies, if you listen to it, trust me you just sent your courage packing.

In one of her self-improvement books Building Confidence, Barrie Davenport defines self-confidence as the feeling of being comfortable with or even happy with your ability to successfully navigate through life and move past life's problems or your own failures with the belief you are still capable and worthy.

You are capable of success and achievement beyond your wildest imaginings.@CoachBarrie Click To Tweet

Pointing out the some erroneous notions of Self-Confidence, Barrie holds that one doesn’t need to be a high achiever, financially successful, stunningly attractive, or super intelligent to have self-confidence in fact, confidence doesn't require you to be always on top of your game, always assertive and in control, always polished and sophisticated. It doesn't require fearlessness in every situation, nor does it mean you must be an extrovert or a public speaker.

For Barrie, real confidence is about embracing your true self and learning to love that self while continuing to improve upon it. It's about defining your own personal operating system, based on your core values and integrity, and then designing your life around this system.

Procrastination keeps you from living to your potential.@CoachBarrie Click To Tweet

She went further to state the characteristics of confident people as; self-assured, ambitious, sociable, healthily competitive, risk takers, hard-working, determined, accepting people, shrewd and positive.

Emphasising the need for Everyone must learn the emotional, social, and coping skills necessary to operate successfully in our complex and often challenging lives, we should begin with who and where we are and move forward with the skills we are learning. When you take actions to build our confidence Barrie asserts that our brain is being rewired hence new (self-confidence) connections are formed and old (self-doubt) ones lose their potency.

Indecision can paralyse you and render you ineffective and insecure.@CoachBarrie Click To Tweet

To have self-confidence is to overcome; fear, worry and over-thinking, procrastination, Indecision and doubt.

To stay confident or regain confidence is to

1.      Address limiting beliefs by substituting it with new, positive thoughts.

2.      Know that you are not alone if you have self-confidence issues

3.      Play to your strengths. Acknowledge them and be grateful for them. Work on your weaknesses, but view them as small children who need your love and understanding, not shaming.

4.      Acknowledge the role that past events or wounds have played in your current life experience, but don't dwell there.

5.      If you suffer from "approval addiction," keep working to detach from the need to please. When you approve of yourself, others (who matter) will be naturally drawn to you.

6.      Keep your personal operating system (POS) and core values in a place where you can see them regularly.

7.      If you want to feel confident about a skill—practice, practice, and practice. Nothing helps confidence like mastery and accomplishment.









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